The Weighty Word Book by Paul M. Levitt

Author:Paul M. Levitt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: University of New Mexico Press

MISDEMEANOR

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For the sixth year in a row, the Carmel City High School Tigers placed last in the marching band contest. The principal, Mr. Ferule, was furious.

So the next day he hired a new director, Mr. Fenderbender, who had served in the French Foreign Legion and knew all about discipline and how to parade.

“Fenderbender,” he snapped, “our marching band can’t march in a straight line. They’re always looking ragged. We’ve got a problem. Solve it!”

Heading straight for the practice field, Mr. Fenderbender lined up the students. “I’m your new director,” he said. “My name is Mr. Fenderbender and I want you to know that from now on there’ll be no more fooling around. So let’s get to work. One-two, one-two!” he barked. “I want to see everyone marching to the same step.”

Up and down the field he paraded the band, shouting first at one person and then another. “You there, keep in line! You, with the tuba, you’re out of step.” Up and down the field they marched, the Carmel City High School Tigers Marching Band. Every day Mr. Fenderbender put the students through their paces. Every day he made them keep in perfect step. He taught them loops and crossovers and double x’s—and how to play in perfect harmony.

“When I say march,” he commanded, “I want to see every foot move at exactly the same moment, every arm swing at exactly the same second, every head turn at exactly the same instant. If even one person misses a beat, the whole effect is ruined. I want you people looking military sharp, parading straight as an arrow.”

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